Lesson 174 From Deci's Great-Grandmother: The Story of the Mush-Coon

I called my mother the other night and she related this story to me amidst many giggles.

My grandparents have been experiencing raccoon problems. It seems that because of a large number of raccoons in the area, some of them have taken to climbing the pole to the bird feeder that my grandfather has just off their back patio. They've tried everything from empty 2 liters on the pole to an air pellet gun to try to dissuade these creatures (and squirrels and other furry beings) from eating the bird food or the birds. It has gotten so bad that now my grandfather even brings in the food at night. Well, one night not too long ago my grandmother wakes up to hearing something scrambling around in the back and decides to get out of bed and send the raccoon away. After standing at the back door shooing him with no response she decides that instead of waking up my grandfather to figure out how the pellet gun works, that she'll find her own ammunition. However, after throwing a few wooden spoons and a potato masher at him the raccoon still doesn't wake up!

Eventually she gives up for the night and goes back to bed. The next morning they call maintenance because the raccoon is still up there. Thinking that maybe he got stuck, but still not wanting to get too close the maintenance guys bring a trash spike and a toilet plunger. Apparently the spike was to nudge him awake, and the plunger was for defense, to croquet him away if he decides to attack. As it turns out, neither were strictly necessary as the raccoon had died in the feeder. 

After telling this story to Deci (and I'm sure he didn't understand half of it) he has started babbling about the "mush-coon" I think this is just Deci-ese, but it sure is appropriate. What else would you call a raccoon you throw a potato masher at?