Lesson 202: Boxes

You get a big box in the mail. Since your son has had so much fun playing with all the boxes left over from moving, you think of something nice to do for him. So you pull out an old CD and your box cutter and go to town on the box; cutting several small circular holes along the sides of it. You go as far as to plan to paint it yellow and maybe even add a few more boxes to make a submarine for him to crawl through. But then you let him play in just the box with the three holes that you've finished so far, and you discover that your two year old has no idea what a submarine is. However, he will spend quite a while making his little sister giggle happily by peeking through the holes and saying "peek-a-boo" over and over and over. It's a good day.

Life is simple, no need to make it complicated.

Lesson 201: Plan Your Strategy Carefully

It's almost lunch time and I ask the boys what they want to watch while I get the food ready. Deci instantly proclaims at the top of his lungs "Hi5!" with the matching hand in the air. Rilian just looks at me and Roran grunts. Rather sick of Hi5 I ask Rilian, "Rilian are you ok with Hi5?" He nods, and Deci is still yelling into my ear so I ask Roran, who almost always votes for Veggietales. "Roran, how about you? Hi5? or would you rather Sesame Street or Signing Time or Veggietales?" After thinking for a moment he replies by pinching his cheek in his hand.

In Roran-ese this means "kitty."

Apparently reinforcements were never adequately enlisted.

Lesson 200: You Can't Laugh

On discovering your kid covered in the cheesy popcorn he stole off the counter with the most gilty look he can manage you should clean him up and be stern with him. You must be the strong one and tell him that stealing food he knows he is not supposed to have is bad and that he shouldn't do it again.

You should not start laughing so hard you almost cry. That is not a good idea.

Lesson 199: No One Knows the Recipe for Awesomeness

Roran wandered into our bedroom and upon finding my elliptical machine, sits on one of the pedals. Discovering that it moves back in forth he emits a very wondering "Wooooooah!" Apparently moving back and forth very slowly is an amazing awesome feat. 

Today's Lesson: Sometimes you need a 'y' chromosome. Sometimes you need to be under 5. Sometimes both.

Lesson 198: Repeated History

RILIAN: Help, Nie Nie, Help!....
(a few seconds later)
RILIAN: You are fine, Rilian. You can do it.

Today's Lesson: Repeat yourself often enough and they might eventually, one day, just maybe, possibly, remember what you said.

Lesson 197: My Little Cheerio

Elora has not yet reached the point of what they call the "pincer grasp," where she uses her pointer finger and thumb to pick up small objects and usually place them in her mouth. So as of Sunday I had not yet started her on solid normal (as opposed to baby) food. However, not knowing this, her Aunt Chrys tried her on Cheerios during nursery last Sunday and has now created a Cheerio monster. Obviously Cheerios are far superior to baby cereal.

Today's Lesson: Apparently Cheerios are best when your personal Mama-servant feeds them to you grape style, so don't forget to bring your palm frond to fan her highness.

Lesson 196: Lucky Charms

If you give your kid Lucky Charms, he'll only eat the marshmallows. Every single time.

Lesson 195: Swiper's Opinion on All Things Shopping

My sister in-law's Facebook post yesterday:

So Monday I was in Meijer, thoroughly irritated that my cashier was moving slow as a herd of turtles out of a stagnant mudhole. Rilian was getting irritated that the college guy in line behind us kept pushing his cart up, thus entering Rilian's bubble. After several minutes of Rilian whining and College Guy's one last nudge in a vain attempt to try and make the line move faster, Rilian throws his hands out swiper style and loudly says "BACK OFF!!!!" Moral of the story? You never know when your child's speech therapy will have kicked in full throttle.

 And yes "slow as a herd of turtles out of a stagnant mudhole" is something she says often.

Lesson 194: Priceless

Hot Chocolate: $2

Big Children's Colors Board Book: $10

Couch: $200 

Three children sitting on that couch reading the book and teaching each other their colors while you sit in the background sipping your hot chocolate in a moment of self entertained peace: Priceless

Today's Lesson: Children are priceless, any peace of mind you get in the deal is just icing on the cake. 

Lesson 193: A Bill for Your Trouble

"Children keep you young, but first they make you old." ~ Bill Cosby

Lesson 192: The Straight and Narrow

Want a straight answer?

     Dad: Do you want to eat out?
     Mama: I don't know, what do you think?
     Dad: It's up to you
     Mama: Deci, do you want to eat out?
     Deci: ... Papa.
     Mama: Where do you want to go?
     Deci: MemeBabyEat (Blanket, Elora, Eat aka Elora is drinking her formula that Mama just gave her)
     Mama: OK, what do you want to eat? (Fully expecting the answer to once again be pizza.)
     Deci: Ball. Nun-Stin. (Ball. Dustin.)

Don't ask your two year-old.

Lesson 191: Teach 'Em Well

My favorite color is green, and everybody knows it. My kitchen is green and will be even more green shortly. Nearly everything I wear is green. And if someone picks something out for me, it is of course green. Today Deci's cousins were over playing and...

Rilian: "What's your favorite color? Mine is red"
Deci: (with confidence and clarity) "Green!"

I'm just so proud.

Lesson 190: What Did She Just Say?

When you are a mommie, you get to say all sorts of strange and odd things. Like:

"Tell her you are sorry; you just Shanghai-ed her with the rug."

Lesson 189: Sharing in Twos

If you must argue over a pair of rain boots, then one of you can wear the right and one of you wear the left. That way everyone is happy! (Though not so dry)

Lesson 188: Naked

It won't be your little boy who is embarrassed when he escapes from the bathroom completely nude while company is over.

Lesson 187: Vick's Part 3

Have poison control on speed dial.

Vick's Part 1

Lesson 186: Vick's Part 2

Vick's does not come out of hair easily; use Dawn.

Vick's Part 1

Lesson 185: Vick's Part 1

Vick's Vapor Rub is not hair gel.

Lesson 184: Salt of the World

Your kitchen will be well seasoned if you leave your two year old alone with the salt shaker for too long.

Lesson 183: Decimation Chex Mix

It is possible to decimate 9 cups of Chex, 2 cups of cheese-its, and 2 cups of Cheerieos in one week. It's called eating Ranch Chex Mix.

Lesson 182: A Special Lession About Family

Late last night Deci's dad started seizing and having speech and breathing problems. He was rushed to the hospital and given medication to stop the seizures. We're still not sure why they were happening, but he'll be in the hospital for a few days for tests and medications.

Today's Special Lesson: This would have been really hard for me if I didn't have an awesome support system of friends and family. Our entire local family (nearly 20 of them) have (or will shortly) come to visit and we haven't even been here for more than 24 hours. I think every last one of our friends and family have offered their support and prayers. I like to believe I am a strong person, but I know that I couldn't do this with out them. There are people to take care of our kids, to take care of our car, to bring us food, to bring us clothes and to bring us all the other necessities we could ever need. And there is a serious prayer wall from all over the place to take care of everything that is out of our hands.  Thank you everyone. Each and every phone call, voicemail, text and facebook message is appreciated. We are very loved and well taken care of and that is something I wouldn't trade for the world.

Lesson 181: Sit Down!

They don't make bottom-to-chair duct tape. Trust me, I've checked.

Lesson 180: Deci's Version of Counting

Without any prompting:
"Un Aker" (One Cracker)
"Ooo Meme" (Two Blankets)
"Fee Arn" (Three Aarons)
"Oar Melmo" (Four Elmos)
"Wize Papa" (Five Papas)
"Ick Poyee" (Six Potties)
"Aehmen Box" (Seven Blocks)
"Eight Inner" (Eight Dinners aka Lunches)
"Non Poon" (Nine Spoons)
"Dead MEME!" (Ten COOKIES!)

Today's Lesson: It's not how you count; it's what you count.